Weak Mental State of Modern Men & Satan’s Confusion in Role Playing of the Household Q&A
From the Realities of Mawlana (Q) as taught by Shaykh Nurjan Mirahmadi.
أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمْ
A’uzu Billahi Minash Shaitanir Rajeem
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
I seek refuge in Allah from Satan, the rejected one
In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful
Alhamdulillahi Rabbil ‘aalameen, was salaatu was salaamu ‘alaa Ashrafil Mursaleen, Sayyidina wa Mawlana Muhammadul Mustafa ﷺ. Madad ya Sayyidi ya Rasulul Kareem, Ya Habibul ‘Azeem, unzur halana wa ishfa’lana, ‘abidona bi madadikum wa nazarekum.
Atiullah wa atiur Rasul wa Ulil amre minkum. Always a reminder for myself, ana abdukal ‘ajeez, wa dayeef, wa miskin, wa zhalim, wa jahl, and but for the grace of Allah (AJ) that we’re still in existence.
أَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَأَطِيعُوا الرَّسُولَ وَأُولِي الْأَمْرِ مِنكُم… ﴿٥٩﴾ …
4:59 – “…Atiullaha wa atiur Rasula wa Ulil amre minkum…” (Surat an-Nisa)
“…Obey Allah, obey the Messenger, and those in authority among you…” (The Women, 4:59)
Question 1: Sayyidi what if the husband is not acting like the 1?
Shaykh Nurjan Mirahmadi: Yeah, that was the answer for that. That if somebody hears this and takes anything out of its sequence then it’s irrelevant. So if the person is not striving to serve Allah (AJ), serve Prophet ﷺ, if they’re serving shaitan (satan) then how could anyone listen to shaitan? So that’s no longer relevant. This is for a believing family whom are both trying their best to submit. But because they’re listening to modern media, their understanding of their role is being confused. They don’t even understand their gender anymore, more or less the role they play.
Everything on social media even wrapped in Islamic garb is telling them, ‘You’re the 1.’ When nothing is telling them, ‘No, be a nuqt (dot).’ Say, ‘No, no you’re a partner, partner, partner.’ There is no sharik (partner), not with Allah (AJ), not with Prophet ﷺ and not with your spouse. He’s looking for his rib, not for a partner. Partner, go get in business. It’s not a partnership and then we want to vote over everything, it is completely different. He’s looking for his rib. Allah (AJ) promised that, ‘I created from your rib your reality,’ means it’s from within you and what we call the rib is your sina – your chest in which it encases your heart.
“…وَعَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ: “إِسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا, فَإِنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ خُلِقَتْ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ”
[رِيَاضُ الصَّالِحِينْ 273]
Wa ‘an Abi Hurairah (ra) qala: Qala Rasulullahi ﷺ: “Istawsu binni sayi khayran fa innal marata kholiqat min dila’in…” [Riyad As Saliheen 273]
Abu Hurairah (ra) reported: the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: “Act kindly towards women, for the woman was created from a rib…” [Riyad As Saliheen 273]
This is a path towards sainthood. That’s why then the women don’t have to do everything. If they took the path of being a nuqt, Allah (AJ) would grant them sainthood by serving the house, serving the husband, being loving, being kind, having good character, good manners. That’s how the sainthood dress would be coming. Not by saying, ‘No, no I have to be like the 1. Me and you we’re partner, I’m going to go learn too, I’m going to be there, I’m going to do this, I’m going to do that.’ No, you don’t need to! You actually have to learn how to be a nuqt because that’s your door to sainthood.
Then the man, he says because his nature is, ‘I’m going to be the one,’ and his nature is not to listen to the shaykh and that’s when everything’s upside-down. So that’s why it’s so hard for men to come and to be a nuqt and that’s how the shaykh achieved to follow his shaykh and his shaykh followed his shaykh and they inherit from Prophet ﷺ this reality in which to serve Allah (AJ). Through that immense power because these people whom they’re nuqts, they make du’a (supplication) and things happen. If they want money, it comes by their du’a. They want this, it comes by their du’a. They want something different in the home, it comes by their du’a.
Many daleel (proof) of awliyaullah (saints) that the reverse. It is Rabia al Alawiyya (Q) who was a big wali (saint) and she attained sainthood because her husband was an alcoholic and abusive and she had a sincere love for Allah (AJ) and Prophet ﷺ. We described before, she would go into her muraqabah (spiritual connection) and spend immense amount of time connecting with Prophet ﷺ and in many cases the man was very abusive so he was definitely not a good one. As a result of her taslim (submission), taslim, awliya (saints) described that she achieved such a rank in her sainthood that in one of the night’s this abusive man fell asleep. She went into her muraqabah and every time she would meditate, the presence of Prophet ﷺ would appear and lights were coming out the cracks of the door, but the physical presence of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ would appear and dialogue and would convey into her heart because she had immense station. After that they couldn’t look into her face when awliya would come or people would come for ziyarat (pilgrimage). But in this connection she had, one of the times the oppressive man woke up, he opened the door and he died from the light.
So, Allah (AJ) can take people out of existence if He’s angered by one of these nuqts. It means you gain Allah’s (AJ) hearing, you gain Allah’s (AJ) love by playing the role Allah (AJ) wanted you to play. But shaitan puts in your fear that, ‘If I don’t act like a 1, I will never get anything done, nothing will happen the way I want it to happen.’ I said – no, this is what everyone’s battling about, it’s actually not true. That if you become a nuqt, everything will happen – this is how the shaykhs live in their reality. They don’t go out and try to, you know, force people to do something. They merely become nuqt, nuqt, nuqt, they make du’a and Allah (AJ) make everything to happen, inshaAllah.
Question 2: How does a shared respect between man and woman, husband and wife play into the nuqt and 1 roles? Sometimes I have to try to bring my mom and dad together.
Shaykh Nurjan Mirahmadi: I don’t know. Let’s worry about ourselves instead of ‘I’m trying to make my mom and dad to be nuqt.’ But in my own life ‘What am I doing?’ So that’s all we have to worry about. It’s no difference for the man because it’s very difficult for men to go and sit and to listen and follow guidance and say, ‘Oh you know…’ Because their minds are always thinking, their minds are always trying to second-guess so there’s many battles for everyone at every level. It’s not easy for anyone.
So for someone to say, ‘Oh, it’s going to be so difficult,’ well because then your tariqah (spiritual path) becomes your living room. So for the man it’s different, he’s going to go into the living room of the shaykh and that becomes his tariqah. Or if they’re watching online and they’re trying their best to keep their sunnah (traditions of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ), keep the way, go out and be of service. So it’s not something easy and it wasn’t supposed to be something easy. But if they do it, they’re consistent and they hold tight and don’t run then they can reach to be a nuqt. As they reach to be a nuqt, they start to become dressed. So these men whom are nuqt, they start to hear what people can’t hear, they hear through their consciousness. If they close their eyes, they begin, because this is the Hadith, they begin to see what people can’t see and each one sees at a different [level] depending upon Allah’s (AJ) gift upon them. Then the whole Hadith al Qudsi (Holy Hadith) dresses.
عَنْ أَبِيِ هُرَيْرَةِ رَضِّيَّ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ، قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ : إِنَّ اللهَ تَعَالَىٰ قَالَ: “…وَمَا تَقَرُّبِ إِلَيَّ عَبْدِيِ بِشَيْءٍ أَحُبَّ إِلَيَّ مِمَّا اِفْتَرَضْتُ عَلَيْهِ. وَلَا يَزَالُ عَبْدِي يَتَقَرَّبُ إلَيَّ بِالنَّوَافِلِ حَتَّى أُحِبَّهُ، فَإِذَا أَحْبَبْتُهُ كُنْتَ سَمْعَهُ الَّذِي يَسْمَعُ بِهِ، وَبَصَرَهُ الَّذِي يُبْصِرُ بِهِ، وَيَدَهُ الَّتِي يَبْطِشُ بِهَا، وَرِجْلَهُ الَّتِي يَمْشِي بِهَا. وَلَئِنْ سَأَلَنِي لَأُعْطِيَنَّهُ، …” [حَدِيثْ اَلْقُدْسِي – اَلمَصْدَرْ: صَحِيحْ الْبُخَارِي – رقم:٦٥٠٢]
‘An Abi Hurairah (ra) qala, Qala Rasulullahi ﷺ : InnAllaha ta’ala qala: “ Wa maa taqarrubi ilayya ‘abdi be shayin ahubba ilayya memma iftaradhtu ‘alayhi. Wa la yazaalu ‘abdi yataqarrabu ilayya binnawafile hatta uhebbahu, fa iza ahbabtuhu kunta Sam’ahul lazi yasma’u behi, wa Basarahul lazi yubsiru behi, wa Yadahul lati yabteshu beha, wa Rejlahul lati yamshi beha. Wa la in sa alani la a’teyannahu, …” [Hadith al Qudsi, Sahih al Bukhari, Raqam: 6502)
Narrated by Abu Hurairah (ra) that: the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said that: Allah the Almighty said: “… My servant does not draw near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have obligated upon him. My servant continues to draw near to Me with voluntary acts of worship so that I shall love him. When I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask (something) of Me, I would surely give it to him…” [Holy Hadith, Authentic by al-Bukhari, # 6502]
It’s no different for the woman. Say, ‘Oh I didn’t get to go there and it didn’t happen to me like that,’ no because if you become a nuqt where you are, Allah (AJ) will dress you the same reality in which you sit there and become a nuqt and do the responsibilities Allah (AJ) has given to you. You close your eyes and you’ll hear what people don’t hear and you’ll see what people don’t see and they know that, I know this is a fact for the people who meditate and do their muraqabah. So it’s not. If everybody plays their role, they reach their reality.
But when everybody wants to play another role, what do you reach? Shaitan’s confusion. That’s why we gave the example last night look at today, look everyone’s playing a different role. Right? They put the men in skirts and they make the women to be a boxer and everybody gets hurt. They want to do it, that’s okay, that’s no problem but this is going to lead to difficulty.
But if we want to reach sainthood, because we don’t force anybody into religion but the people whom are coming and say they want to achieve, they want to achieve their sainthood, they want to achieve a nearness to Allah (AJ). Otherwise, why are you doing it if you’re not doing it to reach to the highest realities and the highest level of submission? Then play the role that Allah (AJ) has given to you, inshaAllah. People want to identify as anything they want but if they want to reach sainthood then that’s something else, inshaAllah.
Question 3: When a separation occurs and the children learn disrespect for the father, how to heal the children and re-establish respect in them? And there is also quite a few questions on disrespectful children.
Shaykh Nurjan Mirahmadi: Yeah, that becomes the damage and the difficulty. But that’s a given. Yeah, that the children are going to be disrespectful if we didn’t follow that system. Right?
So if the system is about everybody being a ‘1’ in the house that’s why we have difficulties. The female is a 1, the man is really not a 1 anymore because he’s being beaten down and then the children are 1. So then the role is exactly how shaitan wants that now there’s no more imam (religious leader) in the house.
Because everyone has defamed and effaced the imam, there’s nothing of a barakah (blessing) and as a result shaitan runs wild within the home. Then who’s going to be the wildest – are the children because the children are like little cubs. It’s okay cute when they’re small but those wild cubs they become wolves. That’s why then majority of these homes have like these wolves, the children are dangerous because of this system of difficulty.
Again many other variables. There are men who don’t want to be religious, they don’t want to submit so then of course it’s going to bring a corruption into the home and a difficulty into the home. So this is all you know how shaitan makes everything to be difficult. But what we’re talking about and we don’t want to address every possible variation of this subject.
It is for a believing men and believing women because that’s always the assumption that tariqah is based on a believing man, believing woman. They’re trying to reach realities and they’re confused on their realities thinking, ‘No, no, I have to be like a 1.’ Actually no, if you want to reach your reality, learn to be a nuqt. So there are going to be many variables outside of that. But if we stick within the believing man, the believing woman trying to raise a family within tariqah and its realities, inshaAllah.
Question 4: How do we find the right way to complete our deen (religion) with so few halal (permissible) avenues to find a spouse that is on the same tariqah?
Shaykh Nurjan Mirahmadi: Yeah, difficulty inshaAllah. That keep praying, keep praying inshaAllah that Allah (AJ) send somebody and inshaAllah. That now again is a difficult time because of the condition of men. That very few men are trying to reach towards being a nuqt. Right?
So when you watch these people even these so-called Muslim people and no shirt and tattoos and talking about Allah (AJ), it’s a deception. So the way of the kholoq and character is the most important, not the message being given but the vessel in which it’s been dressed is the most important. Some people may have good talk but the glass is contaminated. So look at what they’re looking at, look at how they’re acting and everyone trying to be you know like a gangster. Well then there’s not going to be a very good collection and potential.
That becomes the last days in which the corruption of people, the corruption of their character becomes rampant. At that time only you can pray and pray and pray that Allah (AJ) send good people and good spouses for families and children, inshaAllah. But there is no quick solution.
Question 5: When we speak about testing, does it have to be a test in humility or can it be tested through mental or physical health problems or are those different?
Shaykh Nurjan Mirahmadi: No, test is anything. You can be tested with work, you can be tested with your knowledge, you can be tested with your work, you can be tested with your home, you can be tested with your children. There’s a infinite possibilities of emtehan and testing from Allah (AJ) depending upon what is the test about.
So if it’s testing on character, testing on anger, testing on your rizq (sustenance), testing on what’s being tested. So infinite amount of potential testings but just to be prepared for testing is important. That’s why then Allah (AJ) gives us tools to be successful in the test. If you don’t meditate, don’t contemplate, don’t try to connect your heart, any test comes you’re going to go upside-down, you’re going to get angry.
But the one whom enlightens their heart, they have an understanding of what’s coming. When the test becomes clear, ‘Uh-huh, I think I know what this is about,’ and they understand it and Allah (AJ) gives a sakinah and tranquillity to their hearts. Because that’s the light of faith that guides them. If we don’t develop that light of faith then what guides you through difficult times? Your brain? My goodness, no! The brain will deceive you in difficult times. It make you to make choices that are not correct and irrational and the importance is the heart, inshaAllah.
Question 6: If our wife won’t give the 1 to the man, is it better to just submit and wait for Allah (AJ) to change the situation than to try and keep pushing to be the 1?
Shaykh Nurjan Mirahmadi: [Shaykh laughs] Yeah, inshaAllah. That has its own purification. So what can you say to that? So these are the reality of what a relationship should have been, what the home should have been, what men should have been. Right? Doesn’t mean men are coming to tariqah but had they wanted to reach reality. So stay away from this home subject because you’re going to have infinite amount of complaints coming in.
But if men wanted to reach Allah (AJ), if we stick with just that subject, we look at social media and the guy is fighting another ‘aalim (scholar) and they’re all Ahlus Sunnah (People of Prophetic Tradition) guys. They’re like, ‘Yeah, yeah, tell me what the meaning of this word is.’ ‘You don’t know the meaning of this word?’ Trying to insult him, ridicule him. Said… and this na’at (prophetic praising) is telling us. Do you think this is gaining you access to Allah (AJ)? That you bring somebody else down and that made you to be more prominent in Allah’s (AJ) eyes? Because no more manners in teaching and what is this? Go then to a park and yell at people or be insulting and talk loud and insult.
But the whole process should have been when I calibrate myself and my deen, it should be based on my nuqt. That I’m going to warn and teach people – be nothing, be nuqt, be nothing. “Khuluqal ‘azheem” in which Allah (AJ) gives the character of Prophet ﷺ, ‘You are of a magnificent character.’
(٤) وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ
68:4 – “Wa innaka la’ala khuluqin ‘azheem.” (Surat Al-Qalam)
“Truly, You (O Muhammad!) are of a magnificent character.” (The Pen, 68:4)
That’s why then if you read the Seerah (biography) of Prophet ﷺ, you cry most of the times because of how difficult people were upon Prophet ﷺ, how harsh people were and he never ordered the companions, ‘Kill them, cut their heads,’ nothing. They would come and urinate in the masjid and the Sahabi (Holy Companions of Prophet ﷺ) were ready to kill because it’s a masjid for Prophet ﷺ. He said, ‘No, no, no just cover it, just calm the situation down.’
So you would see the kholoq and the immensity of the character and people would admit things to Prophet ﷺ and he said, ‘Leave it and we’re not here to cut your heads and cut your hands, just leave it.’ They say, ‘Okay well, somebody stole something.’ Say, ‘Okay before you want to cut somebody’s hands find out why he stole and if he was hungry, punishment should go to you that why he was hungry on your area before you want to harm people.’
So means the kholoq and the character of Prophet ﷺ was exemplatory and that’s what made the immensity, the immensity of that reality. So then when we see all of these things for deen, this is a reminder for ourselves that don’t go taking courses thinking you can go to the park and debate and fight people. But I took up my deen to be nothing. I’m going to practice all my life just to be a nuqt. Help people and advise, and advise in a way in which I remain to be a nuqt. That’s why then teach about the greatness of Allah (AJ), teach about the greatness of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ. So that everyone knows to connect their heart with The One. Then teach people that to be nothing, to be nothing, to be nothing.
So alhamdulillah. If we take that same symbol in our work and home and everything then it should answer all our questions. If we ask any questions in our life, ‘Is it, am I being a nuqt or I’m being a 1?’ That becomes a simple understanding now. Even children can do that. That in relationship to their religion and reaching God just ask them, ‘Do you think what you’re doing is going to make you a 1 or a dot, a zero?’ They can answer honestly, ‘No, I think this one is going to make me more like a 1.’ ‘I want to go here.’ ‘Is that going to make you a nuqt or a 1?’ ‘I think it’s going to be a 1.’ So this just makes everything simple, inshaAllah.
Question 7: Sayyidi if jumping the rings is a gift from the shaykh, is the love for the Prophet ﷺ also a gift from the shaykh?
Shaykh Nurjan Mirahmadi: What’s jumping the rings?
Audience: The atoms, the names I think you were talking… jumping the rings.
Shaykh Nurjan Mirahmadi: I thought because like jumping hoops like those circuses, ‘Jumping the rings.’ So, is the jumping the rings is a gift from who? I don’t know if I said that jumping the rings was a gift from the shaykh.
I think teaching you about the rings was a gift from the shaykh. No, but you need from Sultanan Naseera (Victorious king). Right? We said that in the orbit of every electron needs an energy and a qudra (power) from the nucleus, that’s not from the shaykh. So that’s from the nucleus. There has to become a power from the authority of Allah (AJ) to the authority of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ and then comes through that Ulul Amr (saints). These are the energy that hit that electron and by virtue of hitting it, it brought it up closer.
So it means that a test comes and tests come in your life and boom! By that hit you’re coming and moving up closer to the Divine. So the gift from the shaykh is the teachings that how to connect, how to bring that energy, that light, these knowledges. If my light is to traverse these layers to the center then I know I have to be a nuqt so they all fall into the same understanding. Either you want to stay in your orbit and you don’t want to release your negative charge, your negative character then stay in your orbit; you’re not going to progress. But if you came to progress then you meditate, contemplate, accept the challenges that Allah’s (AJ) putting upon and you begin to move closer into the Divinely Presence.
People can become purified in many ways. They stay quiet, they become pure. Stay quiet, quiet, quiet. But the reality of the person whom is quiet and is being dressed by Allah (AJ) then that can become something very difficult. So imagine that a man who stays quiet in his home and is beginning to become very close to Allah (AJ). So like the awliya can become abused by people who don’t know them. So forget the person is a awliya but if they’re very pious and they stay quiet and quiet and things happen in the house, it’s exactly the reverse of what we described. Allah (AJ) becomes angered in the house and things start to happen to people. Not the du’a of that person because they never make du’a against their home but Allah (AJ) becomes angered at the house and begin to hit the different people. That’s because there’s a pious person in there and Allah (AJ) is their Defender.
So it doesn’t matter if he’s a man or a woman. Whoever’s playing the role of 1 and nuqt, then they have to be very careful. So pious people if they don’t talk back to you and they don’t yell at you means they didn’t take their right. If they didn’t take their right, Allah (AJ) will now interfere and Allah (AJ) will take His right against the servant. So that’s better that the man just, you know, kind of saying, ‘What you’re doing is wrong,’ because if he stays too quiet, too quiet, too quiet then Allah (AJ) begins interfering and difficulty comes into the home. So it doesn’t mean it went away. So it’s just like the reverse. So that’s why we said for the woman when she’s a nuqt and remains quiet, Allah (AJ) says, ‘What do you want? We’ll make the change to happen.’ So there is a power happening in people’s homes and in people’s lives and no, no action is wasted in Allah’s (AJ) way.
So everything Allah (AJ) is taking hisaab (account). So that’s the characteristic that they stay quiet and be careful of those quiet people. Because in their heart Allah (AJ) is very dear, Allah (AJ) loves them very much. If He becomes angered, He can start sending lightning where He wants it and that’s the problem. That’s why people don’t understand why things are happening and that’s true with anything. So when pious people stay quiet during oppression then a lot of things can happen, inshaAllah.
Subhana rabbika rabbal ‘izzati ‘amma yasifoon, wa salaamun ‘alal mursaleen, walhamdulillahi rabbil ‘aalameen. Bi hurmati Muhammad al-Mustafa ﷺ wa bi siri Surat al-Fatiha.
Special thanks to our transcribers for their help with transcribing this suhbah.
Original Date of Suhbah: May 5, 2023
Related Articles:
- God’s Protection is With The Humble – Be a Nuqt (Dot) to Survive End Times Cataclysm Q&A
- The Power of Tafakkur (Contemplation) and State of Being a Nuqt (Dot) Q&A
- Be Quiet and Observe – Loose Lips Sink Ships
- Surrender Your Will to Reach a Higher Level
- Take the Heat of Testing and Melt Away
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