You Are Your Worst Enemy – Blocking All Mercy
Heart is the Sun, Head is the Moon
From the Teachings of Mawlana Shaykh Hisham Kabbani As Taught By Shaykh Nurjan Mirahmadi
A’odhu billahi minash shaytaanir rajeem
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
InshaAllah just a short reminder for myself that we are our worst enemy. Every najat, (safety) every mercy and every Rahma and grace that comes from Allah (Azza wa Jal) and infinitely dressing and trying to bless us and dress us, takes away affliction, takes away difficulty. And the self is the biggest opponent of that Rahma. It does everything possible to block it and deflect it and stop it from dressing Adam. That word they made it to be something pretty in English, the “self” and “self realization”, we went through the whole list of words about the self.
Replace the word Self with Ego
Self Discovery – Ego Discovery
Self Realization – Ego Realization
Self Care – Ego Care
Trust your Self – Trust your Ego
Be your Self – Be your Ego
In traditional language we call it the ego and the ego we know its badness and its bad character. And all that it wants is to be shareek (partner) with Shaytan and to come against Rahman.
Heavenly people are busy trying to save us
The people of Heavens busy themselves trying to save people and the people of Earth busy themselves trying to destroy the people of Heavens. That their life consists of every mercy and Rahma they attack the heavenly people. Means they busy their entire life finding fault with these heavenly people, so they busy their life attacking them, trying to destroy them with their mind with their soul, with their hands, with anything they have. The difference between the heavenly people is they busy their lives trying to save people, how to bring a mercy, how to bring a Rahma, how to bring goodness, how to bring barakah. And then we and our ego find a way that is not a Rahma that is not mercy, that is not barakah. “No this is not right, this is like this, this is not like this,”. So we are our worst enemy. If we don’t understand that then they say already the battle is lost.
If you underestimate your enemy and over exaggerate your ability your battle is definitely lost. Because we begin to think we are great and the Shaytan is nothing, “I can handle Shaytan.” No, no, no, the opponent is fierce in his strength. And me, ana abduka ajiz wa daeef wa miskeen wa zalim wa jahal (I am your servant who is helpless, weak, oppressor, and ignorant). That yaa Rabbi if not for Your Grace and Your Rahma, You have to help me You have to save me Yaa Rabbi.
Self Realization is like Self Surgery
As much as we can deflate ourself, the whole way of the turuq, the whole way of this reality is a way of deflating ourself and overestimating our self and then give no credibility to the self. There is no “self realization” it’s a lie. Could you realize yourself? It’s like doing self surgery. Are you going to find what is really wrong with you and take it out? It’s impossible. You will say, “No, no leave that one in, it’s okay.” That characteristic is okay. The “ego realization”. You are not going to allow the ego and the nafs to realize what you need and what we want and what we deserve from the Heavens. Means everything from that word of self is a danger for us.
If we don’t understand the way and we are not vigilant upon the way, then we find ourself constantly in difficulty. Every Rahma that comes to us and every opening that comes to us, we are the best to knock it out of the way, to deflect it and destroy it and to stop it from reaching to us.
That is the way of the turuq that is the way of realities. When we sit with people of haqaaiq and Rahma they remind us: be careful you are about to listen to yourself and enter into a very difficult ocean. Means the depth of it when you sit and ponder, “Yaa Rabbi You are constantly trying to shower Mercy upon me. Even you gave me to sit with them and do zikr but I will find a way, my nafs (ego) will come and give me an understanding. ‘No, I shouldn’t, I can’t, I won’t”. That was a Rahma. Means every Rahma and blessing, every difficulty that Allah (Azza wa Jal) wants to take away, we are the ones who are putting it upon our self.
That is why Allah (Azza wa Jal) says, “My Rahma, My Mercy out does My wrath”.
Qala Rasul Allahi (saws) “Lamma qaday Allahul Khalqa Kataba fi kitabehi, Fahuwa ‘indahu fawqa al’arshi inna Rahmati ghalbat ghadabi.”
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH), said, “When Allah decreed the creation, he wrote in his Book with him on his Throne: My mercy prevails over my wrath.” Sahih Bukhari 3022, Sahih Muslim 2751
But we are the ones who put ourselves within that wrath because we block the grace, we block the Rahma. We are so busy digging our grave but not in a good sense, busy constantly trying to make bad actions, bad ‘amal, bad thoughts, bad ideas because it suits us and suits the different characteristics. Again the barakah of the circle and the barakah of the shaykh is they have an eye not connected to your eye. With our eye we don’t see it, we are just listening to our self and going off the cliff. Because that is the way Shaytan operates, yeah, yeah keep going keep going, take another step, put another step and another step and you are off the edge and dead.
Shaykh’s Eyes are the Eyes of Truth
The outside eye that is not connected with you, the ‘eye of Truth’ means the eye of the mentor, the guide, the shaykh, they are not connected to you. They are not connected to your pocket, they are not connected to your life, they are not connected to your house in that sense but they give you an honest opinion. “That it sounds like what you are about to do is going to cause great difficulty for you, be careful.” Then you are able to take that advice and begin to weigh it. “Look likes I was taking myself in this direction and then the Shaykh said this (opposite) direction.”
Our whole life is about meeting towards that middle and finding that ‘even-ground’, where my advice is matching his advice, or her advice, whoever the guide is. That not listening to ‘myself’; not trusting myself, not obeying myself, not bowing down to myself, giving no credibility to myself, it is all dangerous. But here, they beautify these words they say ‘self realization’ this is ‘self help’. “O this sounds great, I can give myself help.” No, unless you have a guide that it outside watching and teaching and telling you, that you are not being sincere with yourself. Because most people if you take a hisaab (account) and say, “Come and tell us what you think your character defect is”. They say, “I don’t really have many character defects, I am very pious, all my family was very pious. I have no problems, nothing wrong with me.” Oh, that is very good self help! [Shaykh says sarcastically and smiles]
I have not met one yet that came and said, “No, I am a zalim (oppressor) Sayyidi, I am big zalim I am a liar , I am a crook, I am a thief,”. Because the self is not going to do that, unless they have reached high levels. The self’s only interest is to become shareek (partner). There is no shareek with Allah Azza wa Jal, there is no partnership with Allah Azza wa Jal. It’s impossible not even something capable or possible. The shareek that Allah (Azza wa Jal)is warning us is that your nafs wants to become partner with Shaytan to come against Rahman, to come against Allah Azza wa Jal.
Biggest Blessing in Zikr Associations is Food
Our whole life is about all these blessings coming to me and I find a way to block it. The biggest blessing in these associations is ta’am, the food. Very few people have the ability within their heart to take the dressing of the zikr because their character is inappropriate, their understanding is inappropriate, the level of their belief is not at that level, so Allah (Azza wa Jal)puts the blessing within the food. We said how many times people come to the holy association and say, “Shaykh I am not eating.” O That is a big sign, already you are under the oppression and zulmat of your nafs. That your nafs locks your mouth and doesn’t let you to eat and drink from that food because it understands that food, that water, is going to burn us, don’t touch it. This is self realization? The self has no way to realize or to teach your soul its real purpose, its real agenda.
Awliya Can Pick Up Energy of Your heart
We have said before from Mawlana Shaykh’s teaching that the firasat, the vision of the spiritual guides can at least understand much deeper from what your lips are saying to what your heart is beating and what your innermost intention is emanating. These are all energies. If a box can pick up television and the box is made by people, what do you think about the heart? When Allah (Azza wa Jal) grants the heart wa laqad karamna bani adam?
17:70 – “Wa laqad karramna bani adama…” (Surat al Isra)
“We have certainly honored the children of Adam…” (The Night Journey 17:70
If Allah (Azza wa Jal) opens upon the heart and soul what Allah (Azza wa Jal) wants to open up. Imagine that ability! that Allah (Azza wa Jal) opens upon the heart and they emanate. And as soon as you talk, the heart of that believer (wali) what Allah (Azza wa Jal) says “I am your hearing I am your seeing, I am your speaking, I am the hands in which you move and the feet in which you move.”
“…, wa la yazaalu ‘Abdi yataqarrabu ilayya bin nawafile hatta ahebahu, fa idha ahbabtuhu kunta Sam’ahul ladhi yasma’u behi, wa Basarahul ladhi yubsiru behi, wa Yadahul lati yabTeshu beha, wa Rejlahul lati yamshi beha, wa la in sa alani la a’Teyannahu, …”
“…My servant continues to draw near to Me with voluntary acts of worship so that I shall love him. When I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him…” Hadith Qudsi
Imagine then the ability of that device of Allah Azza wa Jal’s servant? Means what you say through your lips they are not caring for that because the lips are trained to talk like the bird. The energy coming from the heart is more important. So they sit with you and ask for du`a, they start to talk about their whole life and what ‘they want’, they want, they want, “I need this du`a, I need this, I need this,” okay, but this is your lips are saying they need that. What your lips are saying means nothing, what your heart is emanating is something completely different because it sends energy. You walk into a place and you feel the energy, that if someone is nervous, you feel nervous, you feel them to be angry, you start to feel angry and you say I am not angry and I don’t know what it is I just walked into this room I don’t know what this feeling is?
The Heart Picks up the Vibration
The heart picks up the vibration. Everything picks up the vibration. Even tonight we were reciting and his drum is beating! You heard it? When the speaker base was strong, it was vibrating the metal on his duff. Allah (Azza wa Jal) is teaching “don’t be jahal. If your heart is more sensitive, if your heart is fine tuned, it picks up the vibration.” One, the illusion is coming through the mouth that is why Allah (Azza wa Jal) says “We are going to seal your mouth.” That is the first that is the illusion.
36:65 – “Al yawma nakhtimu ‘ala afwahehim wa tukallimunaa aydeehim wa tashhadu arjuluhum bima kanoo yaksiboon.” (Surat al Yaseen)
“That Day, We will seal over their mouths, and their hands will speak to Us, and their feet will testify about what they used to earn.” (Holy Quran, Yasin 36:65)
You go places and people are saying something but you feel in their heart there is something different happening. That is what they are teaching that: we don’t trust the way of the lips, something else is cooking within the heart. That is where the Shaytan and the nafs are fighting who is going to control this chair? Who is going to control the authority of this body? So far we are controlling his lips and we have him saying what we want him to say.
Then means with a pure heart and a clean heart, their heart merely begins to focus and they feel the emanation coming from the heart, that no, no, the desire is something completely different. Then the innermost energy of their heart, that the nafs really what its real intention is, a very dangerous intention: it wants to take that insaan (human being) off the cliff and wants to take him slowly, slowly, slowly, because you can never take somebody who is believing quickly. You have to take them step by step by step off their path, off their belief and into darkness. You step a little bit towards darkness, your senses become a little bit more confused. You step again into something incorrect and wrong because the nafs is whispering, “do this action, do this action, see the wrong people, the wrong type of people.” And you keep stepping with those people, you begin to go towards darkness. As you go towards darkness you become disconnected from that reality.
Your Innermost nafs is Partner with Shaytan
That is the innermost nafs, that is the innermost one making shareek with Shaytan, that yeah, yeah, we are together let’s get this person to sit at home and not go to the zikr. Let us get this person to talk to this voodoo and this witch. Lets get this person to do actions that are not appropriate. Don’t go to fortune tellers! There is no fortune to tell. It’s just day by day, one day at a time. There is no quick solution. There is nobody who tells you a fortune and you emanate a fortune? Nothing but submission to Allah’s Will! And if you truly knew the events of your life you could not live a day! It is a Rahma and a mercy not to know. But when you go to magicians what they do is they tell you something that you will fulfill; you fulfill the magic that they are saying. (They say), “Tomorrow you are not going to be happy and you are going to buy some milk.” Of course then you are going to say, “This is a rotten day let me go get some milk.” O look I fulfilled what the magician said! We don’t do anything like that.
There is no easy path towards submission. Everything is about tasleem, submit and submit, struggle against yourself, struggle against your desires, accompany a living guide and ask, ask, ask and then you find that your coordinance and their coordinance is way off. Our life is about tasleem and to come back into submission. As soon as we begin to submit, submit, submit, then the heart finds tranquility and an ease.
Only through that submission, then they begin to teach what they have been teaching for the last few days is Shamsi wal Qamar (The Sun and the Moon). That these lights they want to dress upon the heart requires that we become a moon. A moon is free from all its wants and its desires, it is polished; it’s not a planet occupied by lots of people, lots of desires and lots of things. That moon is polished and begins to reflect the sun and begins to emanate a light.
Believer’s Heart is the Sun, Believer’s Face is moon
Allah (Azza wa Jal) gave us that within ourselves. Means the heart of the believer is the shams (sun), the face of the believer is the qamar (moon). If the face of somebody is dark it’s because there is no light within their heart. So they described Prophet ﷺ and Ashaab an-Nabi ﷺ, Ahlul Bayt an-Nabi ﷺ they are the ‘shining moons’ the ‘full Moons of Perfection’.
Means you can tell what is on the face, you can tell what’s in the heart, the two are a reflection. If there is no light on the face means there is no light in the heart. If there is light and power and love within the heart it shines through the face. Allah (Azza wa Jal) says: you have this entire galaxy within you. So we accompany them (Awliya) to become polished. This reality is a whole life process. You want to be qamar and you want to open the shams? Then you have to bring the love of Prophet ﷺ, love of Allah (Azza wa Jal) into the heart.
So then all our practices make salawaat on Prophet ﷺ, all day long allahumma salli ala sayyidina muhammad, allahumma salli ala sayyidina muhammad, allahumma salli ala sayyidina muhammad wa ala aali sayyidina muhammad. Every time you make salawaat on Prophet ﷺ Prophet ﷺ’s soul comes and makes ten salawaat on you.
Qala Rasulullah (saws): “Man Salla `alaiya Salatan wahidatan, Sallallahu `alayhi `ashra Salawatin, wa Huttat `anhu `ashru khaTeatin, wa ruf`at lahu `ashru darajatin.”
Prophet Muhammad (saws) said: “Whoever sends blessings [Praises] upon me, God will shower His blessings upon him ten times, and will erase ten of his sins, and raise his [spiritual] station ten times.”
Then now the light is emanating in the heart. Then Allah (Azza wa Jal) says: your sun is lighting up but your moon thinks it is a sun! This is the western world where they think their ‘head’ is very smart. He (subhaana wa ta’ala) says: now you are not functioning like I need My galaxy to function. So then the head, what was the first thing Prophet ﷺtaught the Companions? “That in this association when you come into the masjid you leave your head out, leave your head outside.” Use your head for your business, your accounting and your science degree.
But the way of Allah (Azza wa Jal) is not from your head. The head is your screen and the heart is your CPU, the computing. The Divinely Presence infinite capacity is within the heart, the limited capacity is the head.
So if all your faith, your thinking, your analyzing is all through your head, that is wrong. It’s not a moon (that can reflect). These two are now fighting each other; the head and the heart fight the way of haqaaiq. My head and my heart are fighting what you are saying. Yes, because your head wants to be the shams and your heart (also) wants to be the shams. Allah says qalbi mu’min baytullah not the maghze Mumin, not the brain.
“Qalb al mu’min baytur rabb.”
“The heart of the believer is the House of the Lord.” Hadith Qudsi
They don’t want the brain. They even eat the sheep’s brain. It serves no purpose, it is a piece of meat enclosed in a skull and it has never seen the light but it tells every lie and every illusion that you can imagine. It has never seen the light. How does it tell you all the images? How do you tell what color I am wearing right now? You may see one color, she sees something else. You have no understanding of what she sees and what you see it is different.
First Zikr of the turuq is laa ilaaha ilAllah – Deny the Head
Means the illusion is here (head) the reality is here (heart). So Allah says why then don’t you turn off your illusion and open your reality? These are the ways of turuq, the ways of marifa`h. The first zikr of the turuq is laa ilaaha ilAllah. Laa (looking up towards head) ill (right side) Allah (looking towards the heart).
It Means yaa Rabbi with my head ‘no’; I don’t want to think, I don’t want to know, this head is not going to understand anything. Shut your head, shut your head, shut your head and bring the light of ilAllah nothing but Allah (Azza wa Jal) into the heart. As soon as the love of Allah (Azza wa Jal) comes to the heart and love of Prophet ﷺ comes into the heart, then begin to battle your head.
Your Head Comes Against Every Mercy
Your head is the one coming against every Rahma, your head is busy coming against these pious people. As soon as you can polish the head, polish the head, polish the head and not to have these thoughts, and fight against all the waswases (whisperings). And tasleem that I know nothing, I know nothing, I know nothing. That is why it is not permissible in their presence to show or to speak anything. You can’t show any knowledge in their presence because it is coming out like a mental fluctuation, it is just you can’t control, it’s got to come out. But this is the way of blocking, burning, I know nothing, I know nothing, I know nothing. “Oooo its so hard,” put a rock in your mouth because you want to say, “let me just add something to this subject.” No, no, they want to burn it, you have to burn it. So they want to excite it. The energy comes, energy comes, if you don’t control it, it just keeps exploding. Each time it comes out, the next time it becomes more powerful.
So here again in western culture they say “If you have anger take a pillow and beat something.” Take a cushion, they used to make these rubber cushions that you take with your spouse and beat each other with that. They say, “Let it out it’s okay.”” What are you talking about, getting it out? If you get it out the fire becomes ten times stronger next time. You have to control that fire, you have to withhold that fire and your desire. And you have to begin to hold it with your zikr and meditation and tafakkur and salawaat on Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam; you begin to hold it, hold it, hold it, until it can be extinguished.
That is why they say if you work forty days on a character defect and you truly work on it and truly hold it Allah (Azza wa Jal) gives you command over that character defect. Means everything is within us. So the head is the moon. The moon has to be polished, the moon can’t be a planet with sky-rises and buildings and people walking on it. It is just clear and polished. As much as you polish the head you reflect the heart. As much as you praise upon Prophet ﷺ praise upon the Divinely Presence it’s the food for the heart, it begins to emanate a light and that light will shine through the face. That light will be the light of guidance for ourselves and for anybody who comes near that face.
Subhaana rabbika rabbil izzati `amma yasifoon wa salaamun `alal mursaleen wa ‘l-hamdu lillahi rabbil `aalameen. Bi hurmati al-Fatiha.