Managing Unrealistic Expectations

June 23, 2025 June 23, 2025

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From the Realities of Mawlana (Q) as taught by Shaykh Nurjan Mirahmadi.

أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

A’uzu Billahi Minash Shaitanir Rajeem
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan
In the Name of Allah, the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful

Alhamdulillahi Rabbil ‘aalameen, was salaatu was salaamu ‘alaa Ashrafil Mursaleen, Sayyidina wa Mawlana Muhammadul Mustafa ﷺ. Madad ya Sayyidi ya Rasulul Kareem, Ya Habibul ‘Azeem, unzur halana wa ishfa’lana, ‘abidona bi madadikum wa nazarekum. Bi madad Kum wa nazare kum Sayyidi Ya Rasulul Kareem Ya Habibil ‘Azim. Bi madad kum Ya Sayyidi Ya Sultanul Awliya (King of Saints) Mawlana Shaykh Abdullah al-Faiz ad-Daghestani, Sultanul Awliya Shaykh Muhammad Nazim Adil Al Haqqani, Mawlana Shaykh Hisham Kabbani, Shaykh Adnan Kabbani, Shaykh Muhammad Adil, Abdul Khaliq Gujdawani, Sahibul Zaman Sayyidina Muhammadul Mahdi (as), wa Ruhullah Sayyidina ‘Isa (as), Sayfullah Sayyidina ‘Ali (as), Thumma Sayyidina Abu Bakr As Siddiq, Sayyidina Umar, Sayyidina Uthman, Imam Al-Hassan (as), Imam Al-Hussain (as), Sayyidina Fatimatuz Zahra (as).

Atiullah wa atiur Rasul wa Ulil amre minkum. Always a reminder for myself, ana abdukal ‘ajeez, wa dayeef, wa miskin, wa zhalim, wa jahl, and but for the grace of Allah (AJ) that we’re still in existence.

أَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَأَطِيعُوا الرَّسُولَ وَأُولِي الْأَمْرِ مِنكُم… ﴿٥٩﴾‏ …

4:59 – “…Atiullaha wa atiur Rasula wa Ulil amre minkum…” (Surat an-Nisa)

“…Obey Allah, obey the Messenger, and those in authority among you…” (The Women, 4:59)

The Night of Desires and the Descent of Muhammadan Light

Fi barakat e Laylatul Raghaib, and the blessed night in which the light of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ passed from Sayyidina Abdullah (as), his blessed father into the holy womb of Sayyidatina Amina (as), into that blessed womb. Allah (AJ) sending immense openings upon this Earth. The seal of creation to manifest from the kingdom of heavens coming to the Earth to put the seal on creation. That the deen (religion) of Allah (AJ) is complete. This way of Allah (AJ) is complete, and all of creation to reach their ma’rifah (Gnosticism). They can’t reach without the imam (religion leader) without the king to step into that reality first. Everyone steps behind the king into the presence of Divinely realities and Divinely lights. It is called the Night of Desires and inshaAllah Allah (AJ) grant the desires that are of benefit to the souls of insan (mankind).

Our Path is Submission, Not Expectation

So many times we get emails from people and particular impatient people that continuously, ‘Oh when is things going to open, when is it going to open?’ They have even a rude tone in their asking and challenging as if Allah (AJ).. this path is not meant for Allah (AJ) to submit to us, astaghfirullah (seek forgiveness from Allah (AJ)). But for us to submit to Allah (AJ). Everything is on Divinely time. Everything in the way of Allah (AJ) is not known to the people of dunya and the people of the material world. We said, ‘To us belongs the struggle and to Allah (AJ) is the victory.’

To Allah (AJ) Belongs Victory: Understanding Trials Through Prophetic Life

What Allah (AJ) deems ‘Victory’ is not what me and you understand of victory and, ‘When are things going to get better and when are things going to..’ That’s not victory for Allah (AJ), that your condition become better. That’s victory for you and your nafs (ego) and our nafs. Victory for Allah (AJ) is when the servant through every form of difficulty struggles and strives. That’s why we were talking earlier about the Seerah (biography) of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ. How many children passed away from the presence of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ? “Rahmatal lil’alameen,” the mercy of all creation, the most beloved of Allah (AJ).

(١٠٧) وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا رَحْمَةً لِّلْعَالَمِينَ

21:107 – “Wa maa arsalnaka illa Rahmatal lil’alameen.” (Surat Al-Anbiya)

“And We have not sent you, [O Muhammad (pbuh)], except as a mercy to the worlds/creation.” (The Prophets, 21:107)

As a father, how many of his children did he have to wash and put into the ground. What type of heartbreak and trauma and difficulty. One child, people will collapse and can’t live any longer in this life. How many Prophet ﷺ went through difficulties? They are the exemplars of faith, exactly that reason they’re our examples. That, every time you think life is hard, ‘Remember my life, I’m a favoured one from Allah (AJ).’ This is what Prophet ﷺ is saying to us, is always a reminder, ‘Look at my life; look at the life of my family.’ That my family has not a special status where they were sort of walking on couches and grapes and food were being put into their possession. They had only suffered and fought and they fought Muslims. They fought their own faith just to keep going and keep the way of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ. They weren’t ever appreciated by their own community.’

How about the holy companions and Sahabi Kiram (Holy Companions of Prophet ﷺ)? How much they fought from amongst themselves not outside forces. Those were the fights of the Quraysh but from even within their own forces how much fitna (confusion), how much difficulty. Prophet ﷺ then reminding for us, ‘Why should be anything different for you?’ Take a life in which the victory of Allah (AJ) is a struggle.

Light Behind the Hardship

The one whom is victorious who struggles through every type of hardship and every type of difficulty, Allah (AJ) raises that servant’s darajah (spiritual rank) in Divinely Presence. Not raising the servant in the dunya (material world) where you get more money, more opportunities. More chances for us to become heedless and forget about Allah (AJ). But Allah’s (AJ) Grace and rahmah (mercy) is that, ‘I dress you from lights, dress you from blessings, dress you from all these realities that you have no understanding about these realities.’

So when we talk about ‘Raghaib,’ and blessings are coming and immense blessings are coming. These dresses of light are coming, people are expecting everything to become great and everything to be sort of opening. But these are called openings of malakut (heavenly realm) and the world of light. Those openings actually may manifest in hardships in this world where you’re struggling just to keep and stay afloat. From every direction there is somebody putting a hardship, a difficulty, fighting, yelling, screaming. Every type of difficulty keep coming to the servant and Allah (AJ) just wants to test if you have istiqam and firmness. Not you become rude, you don’t become belligerent, you don’t lose your character, you don’t become the event and the test and the character of the test.

Show the Best of Character in Face of Hardships

We said that when Allah (AJ) sends a dog to bark at you, your role is not to become the dog. But your role is to remain the heavenly servant that through every condition remains a heavenly servant and firm, and firm. Even they say, ‘Ya Rabbi, it is about time I give up; I can’t do it anymore.’ Allah (AJ) just says, ‘It is not time to give up, you keep going, keep going.’ Through every difficulty this is the lives of these great souls. The greatest soul in Allah’s (AJ) creation – the life and the reality of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ. How much, how much difficulty did Prophet ﷺ have and see and witness and endured. With that difficulty the “khuluqin ‘azheem.”

(٤) وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ

68:4 – “Wa innaka la’ala khuluqin ‘azheem.” (Surat Al-Qalam)

“Truly, You (O Muhammad!) are of a magnificent character.” (The Pen, 68:4)

That Allah (AJ) gives that title, ‘You’re of a magnificent character.’ Not because everybody loved you, and you have a great character. But that, ‘I sent everybody to make difficulty around you. I put you in every type of test of difficulty. As I put other Prophets (as).’ Other Prophets (as), they prayed for the destruction of their people. ‘Every difficulty I put you in, I test you and I test you, and you have of a magnificent character. Always praying for people, always opening and praying for an opening for somebody, having patience in the greatness and the blessed khuluq and character.’ his is the example of these holy nights that when we say lights are opening and blessings are opening.

Every Time a Hardship Comes, Allah (AJ) Raises Our Spiritual Rank

When Allah (AJ) wants to bestow those realities upon a servant they usually manifest as a hardship upon their physicality. When hardships come to the physicality know that your spirituality is being raised. Every time a sickness comes to you Allah (AJ) is raising you and dressing your soul. Every type, you say even if a mosquito bites you Allah (AJ) took away something.

So many times people say, ‘Why I thought we were holy? Why these things are happening to us? Why difficulties happening to us?’ It is for that exact reason. The holier you are, the more things come difficult towards you. Every type of mosquito bite you, everyone throwing rocks at you, everyone make a bad backbite and comment against you. Then you know, alhamdulillah, you’re on the right path. But if everybody praise you, we’re doing something wrong.

That’s the reality – is that Allah (AJ) is always going to send people that make hardship and difficulty for His servants to test them and grant them Allah’s (AJ) victory, not the dunya’s victory. Allah’s (AJ) victory is through patience and perseverance. That’s why you have to be listening and I have to be listening and reminding myself of the talks. Then we put all these talks together to understand what is it that Allah (AJ) wants from us. When we want to have sabr and patience through all these difficulties. Allah (AJ) reminds, ‘Didn’t we talk, that if I want to dress you from sabr (patience) and my sifat as-sabr (attribute of patience), don’t expect anything in life. It is your expectation that makes everything to be hard.’

Destroyed by Desires – A Warning on Ungratefulness

Now unfortunately the children have destroyed themselves with expectations. What they expect to look like, what they expect to earn, where they expect to live, what they expect to drive, what they expect to be like. They’re just a micro version of this entire dunya now that has so many expectations, nothing is an opening, nothing is of any good. When somebody is emailing harshly, ‘When are things going to open?’ Are you thinking things are bad for you? Because you know in one shot Allah (AJ) gets sick of you. He’ll stop everything. You won’t have a dollar to come. You won’t have a bite to eat, and you won’t have a single set of piece on your body.

Not Seeing The Grace and Rahmah of Allah (AJ) is a Sign of a Big Sickness

You know if you get sick at night where you can’t sleep and you can’t function. You can’t move, there is no rest, there is no relaxation. Just the fact that you’re not sick and you can sleep without pain is an immense blessing. If you can find food to eat is an immense blessing. How many children don’t have food and their parents have to not put anything in their own mouth just to give something to their children? It means this world has many, many hardships. For someone not to see the Grace and the rahmah of Allah (AJ) is a sign of a big sickness, it is a big sickness. That’s why we said when you email you reveal more of yourself than probably you understood. When you email with this type of things, ‘When are things going to open for me?’ Oh, so you’re not happy with what you already have?

Do you know if Allah (AJ) take away the mentality and mentalness of your family. What happens when everyone starts to go mentally insane and shaitan (satan) just touch somebody and all the mentality will go and become completely psychotic and crazy. You lose your job and you can’t find it and you live in countries where they don’t give monthly welfare cheques and you have a place to sleep and you don’t have that anymore. Life can be so difficult that for a servant not to be thankful in these days is immensely sad.

Gratitude is the Path to Elevation

For people who want to write like that you have to review what you’re writing and think again. If you’re in the western world with whatever Allah (AJ) gave to you, however it is difficult, that’s Allah (AJ) loving you. That Allah (AJ) want to give these to raise your darajah. That we have so much alhamdulillah from the ni’mat (blessing) of Allah (AJ) and so many blessings. If you can sleep at night, you’re 100 percent ahead. If your mentality is working, and you’re not under the attack of waswas (whispering), you’re 100 percent ahead. If you have rizq and some sustenance coming, alhamdulillah. Allah (AJ) says ‘Thank Me and I give you more.’

(٧) لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ

14:7 – “…La in shakartum la azeedanakum…” (Surat Ibrahim)

“…If you are grateful and thank Me, I will give you more (favours)…” (Abraham, 14:7)

Not Every Gift Comes Wrapped in an Ease

Don’t be naashukr (ungrateful) where you don’t have a shukr (gratitude) and you’re always thinking not sufficient from Allah (AJ). In these holy nights that is a reminder. Because when we talk about ‘Holy, Holy’ and all the shaykhs come out and say, ‘This is a holy blessed night.’ People are thinking it is like a big cheques are coming in the mail. That you’re going to get all sorts of bonuses and cheques coming. Then the holiness for Allah (AJ) is, ‘I’m going to give you lights but it is going to cost you something.’ Then you get sick and then you have difficulties, you have all sorts of hardships. These are upon the physicality and Allah (AJ) raising the darajah of that soul, inshaAllah. With His Divinely lights and to be in the presence, making souls to be kings so that they can sit in the presence of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ. Allah (AJ) wants no one less than a king to be in the presence of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ.

When He makes this honourable king, He wants only one worthy of going in the presence of that reality to be a king also. It means Allah (AJ) raise the darajah of creation so that to give more honour and status to the immense reality of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ. We pray that Allah (AJ) dress us and bless us from these realities and on these holy nights give us sabr. Ya Rabbi, just grant us and remind us of sabr. That the struggle is for us and victory for You, ya Rabbi, Allah (AJ)! That the victorious love of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ to dress us, our family, our community, and all the ‘ashiqeen (lovers) that are gathering around this fire as the world is entering into darkness, inshaAllah.

Subhana rabbika rabbal ‘izzati ‘amma yasifoon, wa salaamun ‘alal mursaleen, walhamdulillahi rabbil ‘aalameen. Bi hurmati Muhammad al-Mustafa ﷺ wa bi siri Surat al-Fatiha.

Special thanks to our transcribers for their help with transcribing this suhbah.

Original Date of Suhbah: January 30, 2023