Good Manners and Character are the Key to Tariqah

November 8, 2024 January 7, 2025

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From the Realities of Mawlana (Q) as taught by Shaykh Nurjan Mirahmadi

أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

A’uzu Billahi Minash Shaitanir Rajeem
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan
In the Name of Allah, the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful

Alhamdulillahi Rabbil ‘aalameen, was salaatu was salaamu ‘alaa Ashrafil Mursaleen, Sayyidina wa Mawlana Muhammadul Mustafa ﷺ. Madad ya Sayyidi ya Rasulul Kareem, Ya Habibul ‘Azeem, unzur halana wa ishfa’lana, ‘abidona bi madadikum wa nazarekum.

Atiullah wa atiur Rasul wa Ulil amre minkum. Always a reminder for myself, ana abdukal ‘ajeez, wa dayeef, wa miskin, wa zhalim, wa jahl, and but for the grace of Allah (AJ) that we’re still in existence.

أَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَأَطِيعُوا الرَّسُولَ وَأُولِي الْأَمْرِ مِنكُم… ﴿٥٩﴾‏ …

4:59 – “…Atiullaha wa atiur Rasula wa Ulil amre minkum…” (Surat an-Nisa)

“…Obey Allah, obey the Messenger, and those in authority among you…” (The Women, 4:59)

Reach Allah’s (AJ) Mercy Quickly Through Good Manners

Alhamdulillah, that Allah (AJ) granted us to arrive to the holy Eid ul Fitr. Allahu Akbar (Allah (AJ) is The Greatest), Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar that Allah’s (AJ) Akbar and greatness beyond comprehension and that His mercy is all encompassing. The quickest way to that mercy is good manners. That we’ve talked many times, that an extreme example is the magicians whom wished to come against Sayyidina Musa (as).

Fir’aun (pharaoh) was very angry with Nabi Musa (as), called him to his presence and said, ‘Okay, this karamat, these miracles that you have – our miracles are going to be stronger.’ He wanted to humiliate the prophet (as) of Allah (AJ) and cause a difficulty and just to make the whole version shorter, just to remember that everything is based on manners. That he came to the presence of the magicians of Fir’aun’s temple and they were supposed to duel and compare their magic. The magicians of Fir’aun, they asked Nabi Musa (as), ‘Should we go or should you go? Should you throw first or we throw first?’

قَالُوا يَا مُوسَىٰ إِمَّا أَن تُلْقِيَ وَإِمَّا أَن نَّكُونَ أَوَّلَ مَنْ أَلْقَىٰ ﴿٦٥﴾‏

20:65 – “Qaaloo yaa Moosaaa immaaa an tulqiya wa immaaa an nakoona awala man alqaa” (Surat TaHa)

“They said, ‘O Moses, either you throw or we will be the first to throw.'” (Ta Ha, 20:65)

Begin this event and awliyaullah (saints) come from the heart of Prophet ﷺ and describe that one manner opened a door of immense faith because these are hardcore evil magicians. All magic now is a drop of fir’aunic magic. So, these are the worst of the worst. Then Allah (AJ) describes in Qur’an a series of events that they threw their magic.

قَالَ بَلْ أَلْقُوا ۖ فَإِذَا حِبَالُهُمْ وَعِصِيُّهُمْ يُخَيَّلُ إِلَيْهِ مِن سِحْرِهِمْ أَنَّهَا تَسْعَىٰ ﴿٦٦﴾‏

20:66 – “Qaala bal alqoo fa izaa hibaaluhum wa ‘isiyyuhum yukhaiyalu ilaihi min sihrihim annahaa tas’aa” (Surat TaHa)

“He said, ‘Rather, you throw.’ And suddenly their ropes and staffs seemed to him from their magic that they were moving [like snakes].” (Ta Ha, 20:66)

Nabi Musa (as) said, ‘You go first.’ They threw their magic then Nabi Musa (as) threw his staff and it became a dragon from Divinely Presence.

وَأَلْقِ مَا فِي يَمِينِكَ تَلْقَفْ مَا صَنَعُوا ۖ إِنَّمَا صَنَعُوا كَيْدُ سَاحِرٍ ۖ وَلَا يُفْلِحُ السَّاحِرُ حَيْثُ أَتَىٰ ﴿٦٩﴾

20:69 – “Wa alqi maa fee yamee nika talqaf maa sana’oo; innamaa sana’oo kaidu saahir; wa laa yuflihus saahiru haisu ataa” (Surah TaHa)

“And throw what is in your right hand; it will swallow up what they have crafted. What they have crafted is but the trick of a magician, and the magician will not succeed wherever he is.” (Ta Ha, 20:69)

Nabi Musa’s (as) ‘Asaa Devoured Fir’aun’s Falsehood

They knew that wasn’t magic. They knew that’s a creature from Divinely Presence and it devoured all their magic. One – the importance of the staff and that importance of Sayyidina Abu Bakr as-Siddiq (as) is a dragon of Allah (AJ) and that Islam has dragons and they use dragons. So, if you ever start to see that images of dragons…yeah, no, it’s very deep in Islamic culture and Islamic reality. Since we’ve been teaching about the reality of the ‘asaa (cane) and that that ‘asaa when put down, it became a dragon of Allah (AJ) and devoured all the falsehood that Fir’aun (pharaoh) was trying to manifest.

So, that’s one reality is the immensity of what Allah (AJ) has given to the reality of Sayyidina Abu Bakr as-Siddiq (as) and upholding the sunnah (traditions) of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ and the immense reality of Divinely Support. That when the Divine supports, you support with “YansurakAllahu nasran ‘aziza”…in a mighty, immense support.

﴾وَيَنصُرَ‌كَ اللَّـهُ نَصْرً‌ا عَزِيزًا ﴿٣

48:3 – “Wa yansurakAllahu nasran ‘aziza.” (Surat Al-Fath)

“And [that] Allah may help you with a mighty victory.” (The Victory, 48:3)

You Cannot Create Something That’s Not Already in Allah’s (AJ) Existence

When Allah (AJ) said, ‘When we support somebody, it becomes an immense support. That they have dragons supporting them against every type of evilness of this Earth’. Whatever we see of horror movies and the evilness, they must exist because you can’t draw something Allah (AJ) doesn’t have. You can only manifest from what Allah’s (AJ) creation already exists from the data file that’s already in existence. You can’t make your own data file.

So, imagine all those horrific creatures that we’ve been able to see through movies and sci-fi and many that we have absolutely no understanding to; none of them in the face of Sayyidina Abu Bakr as-Siddiq (as), none of them in the face of the sunnah of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ. None of them can do anything bi ‘Izzatullah, in the presence of Allah’s (AJ) Might and Majesty.

Revere the Holy Sunnah of Prophet ﷺ as a Protection Against Dajjal

So, it means that what He gave to the nation of Prophet ﷺ is an immense, immense realities. Alhamdulillah, that they give us the deep understanding so that to have a reverence for the holy sunnah (traditions) of Prophet ﷺ and the great armour that it will provide means the great protection that it provides against the dajjalic (man of deceit) system that will reveal itself more and more.

So, Allah (AJ) didn’t leave the nation alone. It’s based on the muhibbin (lovers of the way) and ‘ashiqeen (lovers), that because of their love and nearness to the heart of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ, these realities are being sent because Allah’s (AJ) promise was what? That, ‘My awliya (saints), they will neither fear nor grieve.’

﴾أَلَا إِنَّ أَوْلِيَاءَ اللَّـهِ لَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ ﴿٦٢

10:62 – “Ala inna Awliyaa Allahi la khawfun ‘alayhim wa la hum yahzanona.” (Surat Yunus)

“No Doubt, Verily on the friends of Allah there is no fear, nor do they grieve.” (Jonah, 10:62)

Our Faults Aren’t Visible in Allah’s (AJ) Supremacy

Oh, faced with what’s coming, you would think there’d be a lot of fear. But then Allah (AJ) sends a sakinah (tranquility) to the heart. Say, ‘No, no, we’ve got dragons ready for you, fire ready for you, a Might and Majesty from Divinely Presence. There’s nothing to fear.’ That when Allah (AJ) wants to open, Allah (AJ) will open under His oceans of Akbar.

That during the Eid when we’re reciting Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar because every badness and every bad character is completely destroyed in the presence of Allahu Akbar. That whatever you have of badness, whatever we have of bad desires, bad actions in the presence of Allah’s (AJ) supremacy is nothing even visible. One of the guys put out a nice video showing how we’re just an epsilon universe. In its vastness, you can’t even find the Milky Way in this universe. In that Milky Way, you can’t even see Earth and on that Earth, there’s no way to see me and you.

Even Fir’aun’s Magicians Showed Manners

It means the vastness of Allah’s (AJ) creation and from the vastness of that space, Allah’s (AJ) Akbar (greatness) reaches the servant. As soon as they begin to call out with sincere hearts and ‘ashiqeen (lovers) and love and proper manners that they learn for the love of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ. So, then tariqah (spiritual path) comes to teach that because they had a reverence in their heart and they paid a prophet (as) of Allah (AJ) respect and they asked Sayyidina Musa (as), ‘Would you like to throw or we throw?’ (Holy Qur’an, 20:65)

That simple act of showing respect, opened their hearts now for the next phase because as soon as the magic came and Sayyidina Musa (as) brought Divinely proof and the dragon appeared, they went into into sujood (prostration) and immediately accepted the miracle and accepted the Divinely Presence.

فَأُلْقِيَ السَّحَرَةُ سُجَّدًا قَالُوا آمَنَّا بِرَبِّ هَارُونَ وَمُوسَىٰ ﴿٧٠﴾‏

20:70 – “Fa ulqiyas saharatu sujjadan qaalooo aamannaa bi Rabbi Haaroona wa Moosa” (Surat TaHa)

“So the magicians fell down in prostration. They said, ‘We have believed in the Lord of Aaron and Moses.'” (TaHa, 20:70)

So, from 100% evil with demonic practices, it must have have been immensely marked and filled with horrific signs. Because of that one action, Allah (AJ) opened the heart to immense stations of certainty in which they immediately saw the miracle because now today, you see people. Even if they openly see a miracle, they will talk bad about it. Even if they’ve had miracles in their life from you, they’ll begin to curse you at a later date because the heart is sealed and become like a rock.

Fir’aun’s Magicians Accepted Nabi Musa (as) When They Witnessed Allah’s (AJ) Miracles

But when Allah (AJ) opens for His servant – these magicians, they saw the miracle and as a result of that, they immediately went into prostration and accepted Allah’s (AJ) authority and that Sayyidina Musa (as) is the prophet (as) of Allah (AJ). Not only that they accepted their Islam, but Fir’aun (Pharaoh) said, ‘Who gave you permission? Now I’m going to torture you. I’m going to rip you from side to side and torture you because of your belief and that you humiliated me in the presence of Sayyidina Musa (as)’.

قَالَ آمَنتُمْ لَهُ قَبْلَ أَنْ آذَنَ لَكُمْ ۖ إِنَّهُ لَكَبِيرُكُمُ الَّذِي عَلَّمَكُمُ السِّحْرَ ۖ فَلَأُقَطِّعَنَّ أَيْدِيَكُمْ وَأَرْجُلَكُم مِّنْ خِلَافٍ وَلَأُصَلِّبَنَّكُمْ فِي جُذُوعِ النَّخْلِ وَلَتَعْلَمُنَّ أَيُّنَا أَشَدُّ عَذَابًا وَأَبْقَىٰ ﴿٧١﴾‏

20:71 – “Qaala aamantum lahoo qabla an aazana lakum; innahoo lakabeerukumul lazee ‘allama kumus sihra fala uqatti’anna aidiyakum wa arjulakum min khilaafinw wa la usallibannakum fee juzoo’in nakhli wa lata’lamunna aiyunaaa ashaddu ‘azaabanw wa abqaa”. (Surat TaHa)

“[Pharaoh] said, ‘You believed him before I gave you permission. Indeed, he is your leader who has taught you magic. So I will surely cut off your hands and your feet on opposite sides, and I will crucify you on the trunks of palm trees, and you will surely know which of us is more severe in [giving] punishment and more enduring.'” (TaHa, 20:71)

Their answer was, ‘Whatever you do to us, doesn’t matter. What our Lord has in store for us is far more supreme’.

قَالُوا لَن نُّؤْثِرَكَ عَلَىٰ مَا جَاءَنَا مِنَ الْبَيِّنَاتِ وَالَّذِي فَطَرَنَا ۖ فَاقْضِ مَا أَنتَ قَاضٍ ۖ إِنَّمَا تَقْضِي هَٰذِهِ الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا ﴿٧٢﴾‏

20:72 – “Qaaloo lan nu’siraka ‘alaa maa jaaa’anaa minal baiyinaati wallazee fataranaa faqdimaaa anta qaad; innamaa taqdee haazihil hayaatad dunyaa.” (Surat TaHa)

“They said, ‘Never will we prefer you over what has come to us of clear proofs and [over] He who created us. So decree whatever you are to decree. You can only decree for this worldly life.'” (TaHa, 20:72)

Tariqa is Based on Our Good Manners, Not Our Physical Actions

People don’t even say that now and they live a life seeing miracles with you. What type of certainty Allah (AJ) opened within the heart of the servant and for what? They did not do Ramadan. They didn’t do salah (daily prayer). They didn’t do zakah (charity). They didn’t do anything and they were 500% evil. That becomes the immense importance that if people have a heart to understand, have ears to hear and to really know, this system is based on manners.

Not what you know, not what you’ve memorized, not all the physical actions and worshiping. People want to look like they’re praying very long time and want to talk like their religious authorities and all of these different things, but that their manners. That if you see them off camera or you see them interacting, the manners in which they have, the manners that they have to other people, the manners that they have to the Divinely Presence. Everything comes back to the manners and adab. “Addabani Rabbi fa ahsana fi ta’dib.” ‘Allah (AJ),’ Prophet ﷺ describes, ‘sent me to perfect character.’

قَال رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ:”إِنَّمَا بُعِثْتُ لِأُ تَمِّمَ مَكَارِمَ الْأَخْلاقِ.”

Qala Rasulullahi ﷺ :“Innama bu’istu le Utammima makarimal Akhlaq.”

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, I was sent to perfect your manners.”

Ramadan is the Great Reset That Dresses Us Like Newborns

Not the shar’iah (Divine law) because all you people can argue all day long, ‘Your shari’ah is wrong. Our shar’iah is right.’ They can become proud of actions. They can become proud of their giving and their worshipness and their practices. Prophet ﷺ reminding us because Ramadan, we now been dressed like newborn children.

عَنْ عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنَ بِنْ عَوفْ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ “: إِنَّ رَمَضَانَ شَهْرٌ اَفْتَرَضَ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ صِيَامَهُ. وَإِنِّي سَنَنْتُ لِلْمُسْلِمِينَ قِيَامَهُ. فَمَنْ صَامَهُ إِيمَانًا وَاحْتِسَابًا، خَرَجَ مِنْ الذُّنُوبِ كَيَوْمِ وَلَدَتْهُ أُمُّهُ.” [مُسْنَدْ أَحْمَدْ بِنْ حَنْبَلْ ١٦٢١]

‘An ‘Abdur Rahman bin ‘Awf qala, qala Rasulullahi ﷺ, “Inna Ramadana shahrun aftarada Allahu ‘Azza wa Jalla Siyamahu. Wa inni sanantu lil Muslimina qiyamahu. Faman samahu Imanan wahtesaban, kharaja minaz zunubi kayawmi waladathu Ummuhu.” [Musnad Ahmad bin Hanbal 1621]

‘Abdur Rahman bin ‘Awf narrated that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “Verily, Ramadan is a month in which Allah Almighty has made its fasting an obligation. And I established its Qiyam (nightly devotion and prayers) as my sunnah for the Muslims. So whoever fasts in it out of faith and in hope of reward, will be rid of his sins like the day he was born from his mother.” [Musnad Aḥmad Ibn Hanbal 1621]

Allah (AJ) giving us a great reset. That go out now into the world as pure like newly born children and build the foundation of your faith, based on good manners, the best of manners to those whom agitate and aggravate you. Not only to the good manners to the ones whom praise you, but good manners to those whom oppose you. The way is established based on these good manners and this manner starts in childhood, in youth. It’s very difficult to teach adults manners because they’re ingrained with behaviours and characteristics like a dog that’s already been trained. You know how difficult it is to break down the manners of a trained animal and retrain it into something else?

Without Good Manners, We Are Just Wild Animals

Why we give the example of an animal? Because our character, without manners, is just a talking haywan (animal). We’re just talking animals. When we try to reach to angelic realities is completely different. Otherwise, we’re just talking baboon with no manners, no good character, but we have a voice box and we can put words together. But what Allah (AJ) wants for us is train. Train at an early age, the way of manners and the way of adab.

The one whom doesn’t have manners, then you can look to the family and think, ‘Why they didn’t teach their youth?’ They let them to be wild and then later when they have difficulties, they bring them like wild creatures. That, ‘Shaykh, now let’s see what tariqah (spiritual path) can do’. What tariqah going to do? He’s already been trained. In most cases if it’s untrained, this dunya (material world) make these creatures to be very aggressive, very rude, very bad character.

Allah (AJ) Tests Us to Polish Our Character

So, it means if the whole key of our life and our success because as adults, this knowledge should be that everything is based on manners. I pray a lot. I do my awrads (daily practices). I do my all my meditation and my practices.’ It’s key to opening is the adab (manners). Faced with bad character, they remain in good manners. Allah (AJ) will test you.

Some have asked, ‘Oh, when Shaykh, when you’re not around, everybody is very rude and aggressive with each other.’ Mawlana Shaykh (Q) described anywhere we are in life, Allah (AJ) will put us in a bag. We become rocks in a bag and the best way to polish rocks is shake the bag. So, people can’t complain, ‘Why is like this? Why is like that?’ How are you going to be polished? If things at work don’t aggravate you, people around you don’t aggravate you and the brotherhood and sisterhood doesn’t aggravate you, how will you be polished?

Train Your Children to Become Precious Stones

But most are concerned about, ‘If someone agitate me, I must agitate them back.’ But then that’s not somebody training in good manners. The one whom is training in good manners knows that they’re in a bag to be polished. What they want is to be refined and all of the garbage of the stone has to be cut until it becomes like a very precious stone, where it has been cut, you know, masterfully cut. So, now that it has a value for Allah (AJ). That this was charcoal. It became semi-precious.

Now, as a result of the testing in its life, it’s become like a cut stone, a precious stone. It has value to Allah (AJ) and it starts by our youth teaching them the basic manners in life. That when you see an adult, get up and offer your chair. Offer your place. Some keep the children seated while others are standing. Teach the children to be of service. ‘Take this water. Go serve people.’ Take this. Go give to the people. When people tell you, ‘Don’t talk’, say sorry and keep yourself to be silent.

Untrained Children Become Like Wolves That Eat You

But if you teach the children to be like a wolf, ‘If anyone say anything to you, bite them,’ then this is not the tariqah (spiritual path). That wolf will one day eat you later and that becomes the difficulty. If their adab (manners) is not trained in youth, they’re very difficult to reach as adults. That’s the tariqah training all from Prophet ﷺ. That when an adult enters and a child is sitting on a chair at home, get up and offer the chair to your father and to your mother. Don’t let them to sit and have bad manners that, ‘You go somewhere else and sit’.

When you’re looking at your own child, ‘Get up or gonna hit you in the head’. Teach them the good discipline, good character. When you teach them at home, then when you come out to a community, that’s your time to shine. That, ‘Look, they’ve been trained. That my kids can look at my eyes and know when they’re in trouble.’ You don’t have to train by your hands moving, like is a clown. You should have done that at home. When you got out in public, they merely look in your eyes and know trouble’s coming or that you’re happy and everything is going to be great.

Self-Observation Allows for Course Correction

So, it means we went from the highest point now to the children. Because of Ramadan, the reason is that there’s so much time together. Ramadan is the time when 30 days, people are coming together a lot. By mid-Ramadan, they’re all sending emails complaining: they’re tired of this person, tired of that person, tired of this kid, tired of that kid. Because of the closeness and the time being spent with each other, it becomes like extended family time where others now get to observe the characteristics of the children in other people’s children.

That’s what’s so important because all of this is a part of our own self-observation. If we observe that the system is wrong, the child is being disciplined wrong, the understanding is being wrong, it’s crooked. If you give it a few more years, that person going to be way off track and become impossible to bring them back into the fold and back to the reality that Prophet ﷺ wants for them.

Being Disciplined in Tariqah Advances You Over Those Who Aren’t

But if they’re disciplined in the way, disciplined in the manners, disciplined in the ways of Prophet ﷺ which we call tariqah (spiritual path), but these were the adab and the manners that Prophet ﷺ was teaching his holy companions; how to eat, how to share a space, how to get up and move for an adult, how to be of service to an adult, go and get them water if they’re eating.

At the time, they would bring the bowl for them to wash their hands after their food. Our life was to train how to be of service, how to be of service so that when you became older, it was already in your custom. It was in your nature and then you were a hundred times more advanced than other people because they don’t have that in their nature. They didn’t understand and it creates a sense of humility within our being.

Our Manners and Character Should Be Pleasing to Allah (AJ), Prophet ﷺ and Awliya

Later, we found in life, well, that was the key to all of tariqah (spiritual path). It wasn’t who memorized the most hadith and whom memorized the most Qur’an and who, you know, prayed the longest and had the qira’at (recitation) that was most amazing, but it was the manners.

If the servant didn’t have the manners that were pleasing to Allah (AJ), then they were definitely not pleasing to Prophet ﷺ. As a result, not pleasing to any of the awliyaullah (saints) fis samayi wa fil ard (in the heavens and on earth). A reminder always for myself in this Eid night is that the key to our spiritual success and success in our dunya (material world) by Allah’s (AJ) rida and satisfaction and the satisfaction of Prophet ﷺ be upon us by good manners for ourselves, our family and our community.

Subhana rabbika rabbal ‘izzati ‘amma yasifoon, wa salaamun ‘alal mursaleen, walhamdulillahi rabbil ‘aalameen. Bi hurmati Muhammad al-Mustafa wa bi siri Surat al-Fatiha.

Special thanks to our transcribers for their help with transcribing this suhbah.

Original Date of Suhbah: April 21, 2023

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